Last night we got a double dose of real Housewives of Beverly Hills, with the season three finale and the first part of the reunion airing back-to-back. Going into the evening, I suspected that they were double loading the two episodes because neither was really all that exciting and Bravo knew that people would complain if they strung it out for an extra week without delivering much. After watching the episodes, I suspect I was right.
The central problem, of course, is that Adrienne still won’t let Whatever Brandi said be uttered on television, so the season’s entire arc is still about nothing, and it can’t ever really be resolved. even though we’ve all read the speculation, the fact that it can’t be discussed means that there’s never any end game, which was particularly obvious in the reunion, where resolution is usually the main event. Still, though, we forge onward.
1. Taylor’s really trying to make this friends-with-David’s-ex thing into a storyline. It’s been mentioned in several past episodes that Taylor has issues with Yolanda because she’s married to David Foster, who used to be married to Taylor’s pal Linda. David and Linda got divorced in 2005, which was, last I checked, eight years ago. (Someone check my math there.) Yolanda didn’t get married to him until 2011, and no one’s accused Yolanda of breaking up David’s previous marriage, so I don’t have any idea what any of this has to do with anything, except for the fact that it gives Taylor a narrative to cling to.
2. In Faye’s own head, she’s a justice crusader. In Faye’s head, matching your hair color with your spray tan shade is the hot look for spring, so it must be a fascinating and terrifying place in there.
3. Kim was right, if late – Kyle was way more upset about Brandi’s treatment of Adrienne than her treatment of Kim. Brandi said some genuinely nasty things about Kim last season, and they ended up being mostly untrue. Yes, Brandi was under duress when she said them. Yes, Kyle and Kim bullied her and it was hard to feel bad for them. Yes, it was weird that the switch flipped in Kim’s mind right then and she started that argument in the middle of Lisa’s party. but that doesn’t make her any less right; Kyle’s gone to battle for Adrienne all season, it’s been one of the show’s only narrative arcs, and it was over something Brandi said that seems to have been true. When it was her own sister in question and she knew the accusations to be factually incorrect, Kyle’s crusade was nowhere near as zealous. I’m not sure that any of us really care at this point, and it probably should have been pointed out a long time ago, but Kim’s not wrong.
4. Adrienne actually showed up to Lisa’s party. everyone grieves these things in different ways, but Adrienne said she had just been served with papers that night. She walked in and right away collapsed in a pile of tears with everyone patting her hands and fawning over her. She didn’t even bother to greet Lisa or Ken at their vow renewal before making a scene. I don’t doubt that Adrienne was genuinely sad for what was happening, but it also seemed like she did take significant time to consider how to seem as sympathetic as possible, both on the show and the stories that were released about the split at the tid. (Remember those false accusations of child abuse against Paul?) As soon as she was done making the scene, Adrienne showed herself out (both of the party and of the show) before Lisa and Ken even renewed their vows, which is the emotional equivalent of farting in a crowded elevator and getting out at the next floor.
5. Yolanda is not having any of Adrienne’s BS. and she’s right, of course, as she has tended to be lately, despite her jarringly retro sexual politics. Adrienne walled everyone off from her life, which might be understandable when you know that her marriage was crumbling at the time, except that she did it from atop the highest of horses. You can’t be holier-than-thou and a sympathetic figure.
6. After Adrienne left, everyone sat around and speculated about her prenup. It was the most Beverly Hills thing I’ve ever seen, and definitely my favorite moment of the episode. maybe the entire season.
7. Lisa shouldn’t have had her vow-renewal as the end-of-season party if she didn’t want everyone to be an idiot at it. As much as I like Lisa, and as much as I agree with her in principle (people should keep their own drama to themselves and have some manners while at someone else’s ceremonial life event), let’s get real – this is real Housewives. The last party is always full of bickering and screaming and tears. Lisa should be delighted no one physically assaulted anyone else.
8. Still, their vow renewal was adorable. even Giggy stood up at the altar with them! If I’m half as in love and half as stunning as Lisa when I’m 51, I’ll think myself the luckiest woman in the world.
And now, on to the reunion…
1. Adrienne skipped the reunion. Andy syntes at være forbavset over, at Adrienne ikke gider at dukke op, og han gik ud af sin måde, i en åbenlyst manuskriptet og faux-dramatisk monolog øverst på timen, for at gnide det faktum, at det at løbe væk fra genforeningen var hende “Final” fungerer som en husmor og spurgte gruppen, om de troede, at hun var feig for at undgå samtalen. Ingen spurgte mig, men ja, det er helt feigt. Jeg er også sikker på, at Andy, som en programmeringsprøve på Bravo, er forbandet over, hvad Adrienne tog væk fra sæsonen ved at springe ud af meget af filmoptagelsen og sagsøge for at sikre, at Brandis beskyldninger ikke kunne tales om i detaljer.
2. Er Yolanda koldt? Nå, ikke alle er super venlige i starten, og det giver mening at gå ind i en reality -tv -rollebesætning med din vagt op. Yolanda har også en tendens til at have meget stærke meninger om ting og deler dem efter ønske, hvilket kan få en person til at virke aggressiv, når du først møder hende, især hvis nogle af de udtalelser ikke er dem, der ofte holdes i gruppen. På nuværende tidspunkt tror jeg, at vi alle ved, at Yolanda er ærlige og velmenende, hvis de til tider er lidt gammeldags. Jeg ved heller ikke, hvorfor hun var syg som hund i Kyle’s indkørsel. Jeg fulgte ikke den anekdote.
3. Er Taylor en alkoholiker? Tja, måske.
4. ”På festen for Kims nye næse…” En faktisk ting, der blev sagt på tv.
5. Kyle ønsker kredit for ikke at kæmpe med Brandi til hendes ansigt hele sæsonen. Så Lemme får dette lige. Jeg kan sige grimt ting om nogen foran et kameramandskab i flere måneder, og så har jeg lov til at kræve kredit senere, fordi jeg ikke kom i et argument med denne person til hendes ansigt? Fedt nok.
6. Jeg har meget lidt tålmodighed til at se folk diskutere, om nogen sagde noget, der ikke var på kameraet. Sagde Yolanda nogle ikke-så-nice ting om Lisa i Frankrig, da Lisa optrådte som en smule af en jackass? Måske. Sandsynligvis endda. Men hvis der ikke er nogen uafhængig bevis for, hvorvidt det skete, giver det bare ikke godt tv. Det er som at lytte til nogen fortælle dig om denne helt fantastiske drøm, de havde, hvilket er en samtale, som absolut ingen nogensinde ønsker at finde sig selv i. Det er næsten lige så dårligt som at lytte til en genforeningskamp over tweets.
7. Jeg er temmelig sikker på, at Lisa ved, at Yolanda sagde noget grimt om hende. Lisa er ikke en idiot. Hun opførte sig lidt dårligt mod Kim i Frankrig, og hvis nogen ville sige noget negativt, ville det have været en god mulighed for at gøre det. At ignorere hvad Yolanda måtte have sagt, styrker Lisas position med Yolanda ved at vise, at hun dog stoler på hende, og det irriterer Kyle, som hun ser ud til at nyde rodet med. Det er en win-win, især da hverken Kyle eller Kim kan bevise, at Yolanda sagde noget. Dette er grunden til, at Lisa er bedre på dette show end nogen anden.